two lives.

My life is slowly turning into two lives, and I cant decide how I feel about it.

Maybe everyone goes through this, but honestly I feel like I have two different lives sometimes.  

I've been out at BYU for a little over two years now (thats utterly INSANE by the way!  I cannot believe I've been out there for that long already).  Anyways, I've learned to live on my own, pay for my living expenses, become mostly independent and make lots of big decisions without my parents hand holding my way through every little thing.  Staying out in Utah this summer has kinda been rough, but at the same time I've met some pretty fun people.  

my amazing roommates.

This weekend I come home to Maryland for a short trip and I get back into the swing of things -- sleeping in my own bed in my own room, my mom making me food, hanging out with my wonderful sisters and parents, living by my parents rules, and it starts feeling like I've never left home!  

my cute family.

Neither of these parts of my life are bad, in fact I really love both places when I'm there, but when I go back and forth between the two, sometimes I have a really hard time trying to decide where I want to be.  I love being out at BYU and being around awesome people who have become some of my very BEST friends.  And I feel like I have really grown up a lot over the past couple years, but when I come home, I start feeling like I am still a little child again who never wants leave home!  Let alone start my junior year of college and start making big decisions that could potentially affect my life forever!

Just something I've been thinking about recently...

p.s. All my guy friends from my ward back home are starting to come back from their missions and its weirding me out.  Thinking about how much has happened and how much I have changed over the past two years is so weird, but at the same time it feels like we were all just in high school yesterday.  WEIRD.

Nikki, Jason, Me and Em at church after Jason's homecoming talk.

p.p.s.  My Freshman boys have been out on their missions for a year now and I've been them thinking about them (and talking to Lauren about them) a lot lately and I keep having dreams that theyre back and all grown up!  I cant wait another year to see them!

some of my favorite boys. Spencer, Weston, Matt, Derek, and Alex. I miss them!!

I'm not a teenager anymore..

So yesterday I turned the big 2-0. Crazy. I honestly cannot believe I've been alive for 20 whole years.  It really baffles me.  It was also my first birthday away from home which was definitely rough, but I made sure to stay busy and plan lots of things (and of course eat lots of sweets!).  I woke up late which was wonderful!  And then I went for a long run.  I'm training for a 10K with my Dad, Em, and Kara thats in ONE WEEK.  We'll see how it goes.  It should be quite interesting in the heat and humidity of beautiful MD.

Anyways, when I got back from my run, I was getting ready and the doorbell rings.  I answer it and theres a package on my doorstep.  An unusually long one..  I rip it open and its flowers from Ben!  It was super cute, really thoughtful, and totally made my day!

After that I had a super fun day with Karalyn and Lauren!

We got our toes done..

And went to dinner at a delicious Mexican restaurant, Los Hermanos! We all just about exploded from eating so much.  And by eating so much, I mean drinking way too much strawberry lemonade and eating too many of the free chips and salsa before our real food even came...

We went to the movies and saw Letters to Juliet!  Such a cute movie!! Totally predictable but AMAZING.  I'm such a sucker for chick flicks, as long as the guy is attractive of course..

After the movie, I had a few friends over to play games and eat lots and lots of treats!  It turned out to be a really fun birthday.  Thanks to everyone who made it such a great day! :)

The 830 and the 850.

This is the bus I ride every Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday to work.  (which will soon become everyday once I finally get done with Spring classes...).  Did I mention I love riding the bus?  Well thats probably because I really dont.  I have tried to make the best of it despite the crazy adventures I have already had using this public transportation.  

The first day I ever rode the bus to work, I got on thinking I could purchase a transfer on the bus.  Apparently you CANT.  Luckily, the nice bus rider knew it must've been my first day riding the bus, (he ended up asking me this question later...was it really that obvious?) so he told me I could get on and gave me a transfer for free.  I got on the bus and nervously waited to figure out where I would have to get off to catch my transfer bus.  I somehow figured out which stop I needed to get off on and waited for my next bus.  It finally came and I somehow made it to work on time!  Later that day, I made it home in one piece too!  I was on a roll.  I even bought a convenient student pass and now I ride the bus multiple times a week like a pro.  I can listen to my iPod, read, and talk to my mom on the phone without missing a stop.  

The other day I was going to catch the bus home from work after I had gone to the gym.  It was starting to look a little overcast.  I was hoping and praying that the rain would at least hold out till I got home!  Did it? Of course not.  I got off the first bus, waiting for my transfer on University Ave and I mustve looked a sad sight.  I hadnt brought my umbrella that day (luckily I did have a hood), but here I am waiting on University Ave, sopping wet.  Of course today of all days, the bus gets there the latest it ever has.  It honestly didnt really bug me though.  Some of those days, you just like getting wet (at least I do).  Thank goodness it was one of those days.  When I finally got off the bus, I stepped into a big puddle and just smiled.  

One of these days I'll get myself a car...

  

SURPRISE!!

So its been a pretty crazy weekend to say the least. I flew all the way home to Maryland without anyone in my family knowing! They were pretty surprised when I showed up on our porch...well had they not found out 15 minutes before I got home! (more on that later)

A few months ago I find out that my ward back home is putting on their own rendition of the play, The Savior of the World. Most of my family tried out for a part or just decided to be in the chorus. My dad ended up getting one of the main parts! He got the part of Cleopus. Before I go on, you have to understand that my dad LOVES, LOVES, LOVES to set goals. And one of his life goals has recently been to sing a solo on stage. The part of Cleopus, it turns out has a duet/solo that he sings. After I heard this, I knew I needed to get home for that play, no matter what it took. So I schemed and plotted. I decided I would make it a surprise for my family. I called up my good friend Daniel, and asked if he would be my accomplice in this great plan. He agreed and we were both excited to execute our plan flawlessly. I called up my grandparents to see if they could help me buy my ticket (I had the money, but my dad being the accountant that he is, wouldn't just pass over a $300 bill on my account without questioning what it was for). Everything was set.

The weeks went by and I kept getting more and more excited! I also found out that that same weekend happened to be Mothers Day! Even more perfect. Every time I would talk to my family on the phone I would have to be careful not to spoil the surprise. It was quite difficult for me (when I get excited about something, I have a very hard time hiding it!).

The day finally arrived to fly out to Maryland! I got up early, went to the airport. I got to Maryland safely and Daniel came and picked me up at the airport. My mom called on our way home. I didn't pick up. I knew I wouldnt be able to lie to her without giving something away. Then Em called. Didnt answer again. Then she texted me. I responded telling her I was in class (where I was supposed to be at this time). She responds by telling me "...sure...I have a feeling none of those things are true...I don't wanna ruin your suprise but if its true its already out. We know". I almost DIED. I was so mad, I was 5 minutes away from my house. How did they find out? Who told them?? So after freaking out to Daniel, trying to figure out what to do, I call Em back, and tell her I'm almost home.

I get home and everyone except my dad was home and were actually excited to see me (thank goodness...on the plane I had my doubts that none of them would be excited to see me when I actually got there!). Come to find out, my mom had been talking to my grandma that afternoon, trying to figure out my plane ticket for when I go to visit in June again, and my grandma told my mom she should ask me before buying the ticket. My mom mentioned she had tried to get a hold of me a few times that day but wasn't able to. My grandma told her she had seen me that morning (they had driven me to the airport). My mom then of course pushed her for more, asking where I was and if I was ok. My grandma tried to change the subject but eventually told my mom she was sworn to secrecy. So I guess my mom figured out after that... Bummer. I just wished I could have seen their expressions as I walked in the door. It was almost perfect!

The weekend was amazing. I went to the dress rehearsal that night with my family and cried like a baby during my dad's duet. I got to see the play three other times that weekend and it was amazing. It was great being able to go home and spend time with my family. It went too quick though. Now here I am, back in Provo, procrastinating homework and contemplating going to sleep RIGHT now.

lately..

So I guess I've been pretty horrible about updating lately..A lot has happened since I last wrote.. Lets see.
-Two weeks ago moved out of liberty square.. Never thought I'd be so sad to leave!

-Moved into my new place at Condo Row.. Its been a tough adjustment, but I'm growing to already like my ward a lot (I even planned a dessert night last night and invited the whole ward to our apartment! I'm really trying this year!)

-Spent the weekend in Riverton with Ben and his family (before he left for Texas to do summer sales :().  Complete with going to my Grandpa's ToastMaster's competition, playing outside with Mel and her friends (including the infamous game of Freeze...I didnt cry despite what Ben says), movies, MK and talking till way too late, and church with the family.  It was a fun weekend, but I wasnt ready to face reality when Sunday night hit..

-Started work at Novell!  I'm working as a "Software Automation Intern", nerdy I know, but I do have my own office which I am pretty siked about (complete with office key..haha)!  I also am the master bus rider.  I dont exactly like taking the bus, but it has been an adventure, and I LOVE being independent and not having to rely on anyone to take me anywhere.
-Started Spring classes, including Mission Prep with the famous Professor Bott, a comp class, and jogging! (one of my attempts to keep me active this summer..).
-Met my new ward (without my security blankets, aka Annie and Lauren, to keep me safe), and I've been doing surprisingly well.  Even though I miss them (and Karalyn) a ton!  Luckily I still get to see Lauren when she isnt too busy with her 56 hour work weeks...
-Setting tons of goals.  I'm super addicted to trying to improve myself and setting goals in general (it comes from my Dad..).  So since I've had the most free time I have had in a while, the other night I wrote down my LONG list of things I want to get done this summer!  Lets hope I can do it!  

Pictures are on the way...my computer is currently DEAD.  So hopefully it'll be back up soon!

I love you Jay.

Jay is like my second dad.  I have known him since before I can remember.  My parents passed me back and forth over the fence on Hawthorne Street to his and Judy's house since before I could walk.  I will miss him more than even I know.
I miss Jay's delicious peanut butter brownies, and his amazing homemade garlic bread, and his delicious bbq deer.
I miss Jay joking about pulling my teeth out with pliers when I had a loose tooth (I eventually stopped telling him when I had loose teeth so he wouldnt even mention those dreaded pliers)
I miss watching Mr. Bean (and cracking up) with Jay.
I miss all the funny (and sometimes ridiculous) stories Jay always had.
I miss hearing about Jay's coupon trips to many different grocery stores and getting paid to buy BlueBell Ice Cream because he knew how to rig the system.
I miss going to the beach with Jay and getting pulled around in the BIG red wagon Jay drove all the way to Pennsylvania to pick up for "the girls".
I miss Jay being too scared to hold my sisters and me when we were babies for fear that we would surely spit up, poop, or pee on him at the exact moment he decided to hold us, but yet he always ended up giving in and holding us anyways.
I miss Jay pulling out his pocket knife to open up our many packages of Barbies whenever Judy would buy them for us.
I miss going on walks with Jay to walk Molly and Jamie (and Em always being willing to pick up the poop).
I miss Jay making fun of the days when I would drink out of the dog water bowl right there with Molly and Jamie.
I miss Jay teasing me, telling me to put rocks in my pockets so I would weigh enough (40 pounds) to get out of my car seat and use just a seat belt.  
I miss being in the basement with Jay, watching shows with him and always checking the little TV guide book to see what was going to be on next (and supposedly pacing around trying to take his chips..)
Jay, I love you and will miss you so much.

Hare Krishna!

So this weekend has been super busy! So that means basically normal right?  What would life be if it wasn't busy?  I've come to realize I love being busy because it means getting things done and being productive (for the most part..haha).  
Friday I had to work on a big research paper most of the night and knocked out a bunch of it, which was super exciting.  Later that night Annie, Lauren, and I went to Landen and Cory's surprise birthday party.  Saturday morning, I met with my CS group to work on the last phase of our big project!  Its been fun working with them this semester.  Theyre awesome guys and somehow put up with me... I dont know what I'll do without Kevin's regular (and ridiculous) puns that always make me die of laughter, Derrick's obsession with getting ice cream from the vending machines (and perfecting our javadocs...I've never seem to understand), and Bryce's obsession with fail blog (yet he still wont read mine...).  

the boys - Bryce, Kevin, and Derrick

our thug pose. not my idea..

yay for programming..

After our meeting, which was quick for once, we went over to our guys apartment for breakfast.  Tanner's parents and sister were in town to watch him in his play and they made our apartment the most delicious breakfast!  Fresh PINAPPLE, strawberries, lots of other delicious fruit, hash browns, pancakes, eggs, and bacon, yummm!!

After the breakfast, Annie, Lauren and I went to our first wedding shower!  Jessica was the first to get engaged from our hall last year, and is getting married in May!  It was fun seeing some of our girls from last year and it brought back so many fun memories.  We decided more of our friends need to get engaged so we have an excuse to see everyone more often! 

After the shower, we came home, finished up laundry, took a quick nap, and headed off to the Festival of Colors at the Hare Krishna temple!  Its this big Hindu ceremony type thing they do every year, everyone goes and throws vibrantly colored corn maize at each other.  We were going to take a bus (that according to Facebook, told us it left every 10 minutes on Saturday) from the Wilk...very reliable source.  We got to the Wilk at about 2:15 and waited around way too long.. The bus never came, and we FINALLY decided at 3:30 to drive instead.  We got stuck in a little traffic on the way up to Spanish Fork, but it wasnt too bad. We lucked out and got parking super close ($5 is totally worth not walking 3 miles!)  The Festival was CRAZY!  It was so cool!  We got there and thought we had missed the big throwing of all the colors.  But, just walking through everyone we got pretty covered. And it turns out the real throwing hadnt even happened yet!  Thats when we really got covered...And couldnt breath or see for like 5 minutes.  It was actually pretty scary.  But so worth it!  Well, except the part when we got home and I couldnt get the pink out of my hair after 3 shampooings...And it still hasnt fully come out 3 days later. 

Later that night (after our weekly Little Caesars with the girls!) I went to see Alice in Wonderland with Ben!  It was kind of a weird movie, totally Tim Burton, but pretty good.  
Sunday I went over to Grandma and Grandpa Holbrook's for dinner.  I got to see Jalene and all her kids which was a lot of fun!  
Well thats my crazy life right now...thank goodness theres only 10 more days of class!