two lives.

My life is slowly turning into two lives, and I cant decide how I feel about it.

Maybe everyone goes through this, but honestly I feel like I have two different lives sometimes.  

I've been out at BYU for a little over two years now (thats utterly INSANE by the way!  I cannot believe I've been out there for that long already).  Anyways, I've learned to live on my own, pay for my living expenses, become mostly independent and make lots of big decisions without my parents hand holding my way through every little thing.  Staying out in Utah this summer has kinda been rough, but at the same time I've met some pretty fun people.  

my amazing roommates.

This weekend I come home to Maryland for a short trip and I get back into the swing of things -- sleeping in my own bed in my own room, my mom making me food, hanging out with my wonderful sisters and parents, living by my parents rules, and it starts feeling like I've never left home!  

my cute family.

Neither of these parts of my life are bad, in fact I really love both places when I'm there, but when I go back and forth between the two, sometimes I have a really hard time trying to decide where I want to be.  I love being out at BYU and being around awesome people who have become some of my very BEST friends.  And I feel like I have really grown up a lot over the past couple years, but when I come home, I start feeling like I am still a little child again who never wants leave home!  Let alone start my junior year of college and start making big decisions that could potentially affect my life forever!

Just something I've been thinking about recently...

p.s. All my guy friends from my ward back home are starting to come back from their missions and its weirding me out.  Thinking about how much has happened and how much I have changed over the past two years is so weird, but at the same time it feels like we were all just in high school yesterday.  WEIRD.

Nikki, Jason, Me and Em at church after Jason's homecoming talk.

p.p.s.  My Freshman boys have been out on their missions for a year now and I've been them thinking about them (and talking to Lauren about them) a lot lately and I keep having dreams that theyre back and all grown up!  I cant wait another year to see them!

some of my favorite boys. Spencer, Weston, Matt, Derek, and Alex. I miss them!!